


White Blank Page

by fmd_jade



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-29 09:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5122601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fmd_jade/pseuds/fmd_jade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane is trying to overcome the gap between them. But when another woman shows up, claiming to be Taylor Shaw, this proves to be more difficult than ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set a few weeks down the road, further into the show.  
> Un-beta'd, so every mistake is mine and I apologize.

She took a deep breath and wondered why she was so nervous. Maybe because she knew with absolute certainty that Jane’s security detail had their eyes on her. Or because she still tried to find an explanation for why she was at her house on a Saturday night without any real reason. Well, there was. A reason that is. Just not one she felt comfortable sharing with Jane.

Well, the guys had to wonder why she was stalling so she forced herself to knock.

See? Easy. She didn’t even have to wait long.

“Patterson.“ Jane was clearly surprised to see her when she opened her front door.

“Jane. Hi.” She couldn’t let herself be deterred like that.

“What are you doing here?” The confusion was still there but she hadn’t shut the door in her face yet, which Patterson took as a good sign.

“Well. I figured you either hadn’t watched clichéd American teenage movies in the first place, which you kind of seem too cool to do or you had forgotten them. In any case, I brought _Scream_ and _I Know What You Did Last Summer_ so you can decide which is worse.” She held up her bag. “Oh, and Chinese food and popcorn. Which are a necessity for movie nights.”

Weller had told her not to lie. So far so good. Well, his exact words had been that she sucked at lying and shouldn’t even try. She should just be herself. Because Jane needed a friend.

Why it couldn’t be him she didn’t understand.

Jane still eyed her suspiciously, but opened the door further to let her in. “And why are you doing this?”

Patterson walked further into the living room, hoping to seem unfazed and sat her bags down on the coffee table. “Well, my boyfriend has to work tonight and the thought of you all alone here is just sad. So here I am.” She declared with a too-cheerful smile and unpacked the plastic bags.

Jane’s stomach rumbled just as she got to the Chinese. Patterson held out a packet of popcorn kernels to her. “Think you can make popcorn?”

Jane just shrugged. “I have absolutely no idea.”

::

::

An hour later had them on the couch, the empty cartons of Chinese food on the table and the popcorn between them. Jane forced herself to relax and just take this offer of companionship at face-value. She could try, at least.

“I don’t really have any references, but I still think this movie is terrible.” She shook her head.

“I know.” Patterson laughed. “Isn’t it great?” She took another handful of popcorn and settled back. “Oh, shoot.”

“What?” Jane tensed instantly.

Patterson just shook her head. “Nothing. I just totally forgot to bring ice cream.”

“Oh.” Jane leaned back into the cushions. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Patterson shot her a quick look.

Jane played with the popcorn in her hand, uncertain. “I don’t know. I just feel like a lousy host. I don’t have anything here.”

Patterson turned back to the TV. “Well, I saw the insides of your fridge, so I can only agree. You really don’t. Don’t you ever go shopping?”

Jane cleared her throat. “I tried, once.”

“And?” Patterson prompted.

“It just felt awkward. I had no idea what to get and I just felt pressured by the security detail.” Jane turned back to the TV, hoping to let the topic go. It really hadn’t been one of her best moments, roaming the aisles of a supermarket late at night with three armed agents surrounding her. And she had avoided it ever since.

“Okay, stop.” Patterson grabbed the remote and paused the movie. “You mean they accompany you to go shopping?”

Jane just nodded, suddenly too embarrassed to meet Patterson’s eyes.

“How often does that happen?”

“Just that once.” Jane admitted. “And now I’m stuck with a toothpaste that tastes like crap and a shampoo that makes my skin itch.”

Patterson just snorted and Jane couldn’t help but join in. “What if you need anything?”

Jane shrugged. “I tell them and they go and get it for me.”

There was a sudden twinkle in Patterson’s eyes. “So we could call them and they’d bring us ice cream?”

“I guess.” Patterson couldn’t be serious.

“Let’s do it.”

Jane felt a smile form on her face. “Are you serious?” Weller would flip.

Patterson nodded emphatically. “Sure. You should definitely take advantage.”

Now she was definitely smiling. Well, Weller would just have to deal. “What should we get?”

 “What do you like?” Patterson asked instead.

“I don’t know.” She answered honestly and tried not to focus on the empty feeling that gave her. It was just ice cream, for God’s sake.

The lab analyst put down the popcorn and looked at her with a pensive expression. “You really have no idea, do you?!”

Jane shrugged and forced herself to hold Patterson’s gaze. She could practically hear the other woman’s gears turning in her head.

“Okay.” Patterson said in her take-action tone. “Now I regret bringing Chinese because this is going to be epic. We need to make a list. And you need new shampoo.”

::

::

Jane let the spoon fall into the empty bowl. “That’s it.” She leant back against the sofa from where she sat on the floor.

Patterson just groaned from her place sprawled all over the couch. “Seriously? Raspberry with salted caramel sauce?”

“Yes.” Jane smiled complacently. “And those little nut thingies.”

“Brittle.” Patterson supplied and closed her eyes. “I feel sick just thinking about that combo.”

Jane just smirked. “You feel sick because of all the mint ice cream. That stuff is disgusting.”

“O ye of little faith. You had your memory wiped.” Patterson pointed out playfully. “No one in their right mind would dismiss mint ice cream with chocolate sauce.”

Jane couldn’t help but smile. And she realized, she felt really good about this evening. Despite the various ice cream flavors now sitting in her freezer and all kinds of toppings littering her kitchen. And despite the big elephant in the room. She would probably hit herself over the head later for ruining their post-ice-cream-bliss, but she just couldn’t let it go.

 “Hey, Patterson.” She shifted slightly on the floor.

“Hm?” Patterson blinked to clear her vision and sat up on the couch.

“Thanks. You really didn’t have to do that.”

“It was nothing.” Patterson insisted.

 “I don’t know what Weller told you to get you to do this, but… Thanks. I really appreciate it.” Jane said in a low tone.

Patterson’s face fell as soon she heard Weller’s name. “You noticed, huh?”

Jane couldn’t help a self-deprecating smile. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.” She sounded genuine and now Jane felt even worse for ruining the moment.

“Don’t be. It was a nice gesture.” It definitely beat staring at her tattoos all evening.

“No.” Patterson laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry Weller had to say anything at all. I could have been more thoughtful of your situation.”

Jane smiled at her and felt a lump rising in her throat. “You don’t have to be. I’m not your responsibility.”

“Well.” Patterson got up from the couch and self consciously wiped down her shirt. “I don’t know the others that well, but I think your cultural re-education should definitely be my responsibility. I should go. But next time, we’re definitely watching Dr. Who.”

Jane just frowned as she got up as well. “Dr. Who? Is that one of those medical shows?”

Patterson just smirked. “No. It’s more to do with...” She shook her head. “It’s better to just watch it. Explaining it probably makes me sound like a lunatic.”

Jane followed her to the door and held it open for her. Patterson turned around on the stoop to face her again.

“I really did have fun, Jane.” She insisted. “You shouldn’t be mad at Weller, you know. He just…”

Jane nodded. “I had fun, too.” Jane quickly interrupted her. “So thank you.”

 “And let’s not forget, you have a lot of toothpaste to try out, now.”

Jane couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, that too.”

::

::

She lay in bed and couldn’t sleep.

She wanted to be mad at Weller.

She really did.

But this evening had been fun. Truly. But the fact that it had been orchestrated by him… tainted it. On the bright side she had tested the first toothpaste and only had 28 to go to find one she liked. And she hadn’t spent the whole evening obsessing about her tattoos. In fact they hadn’t even discussed them or anything else about her except for ice cream flavors and toppings.

There had been no expectations.

Which felt both liberating and lonely at the same time.

To fuck with Dr. Borden’s assessment. So what if the man she had dreamt about _once_ represented Weller. Having whatever warped relationship they had surely beat out being alone.

God knew she could only make that decision for herself. Weller had put it into his thick-headed skull to remain objective. She still didn’t know what she had done to deserve that.

Jane turned around again and tried to beat the pillow into submission.

Any dream would be welcome at this point.

::

::

Of course he was at his locker when Jane arrived at the FBI the following day. He looked worn out whereas she was glad they had been called in on a Sunday.

“Morning.” She greeted him, not really looking at him.

“Morning.” Weller grunted in return.

Jane heard him shut his locker, but forced herself not to look at him. She could feel his eyes on her, and she scolded herself for her sudden unease. It had started with her holster. Then he had complained when her shoelace had come undone in the field. And just last week he hadn’t liked the way she’d fastened her bullet-proof vest.

She put her jacket and the bag with her meager belongings into her locker and grabbed her gun and holster. Jane could still feel him watching her and she imagined he tried to find another weak spot to exploit. She’d had enough.

She closed her locker forcefully and met his gaze head on. “Patterson was a smart choice.”

He looked startled for a moment before his gaze became pleading. “Jane.”

“Don’t bother.” She said dejectedly before she turned around and walked down the corridor.

“Jane, wait.” He was on her heels instantly and lightly held on to her upper arm.

She shook his hand lose but turned around to meet his apologetic eyes.

“I won’t apologize.” Weller said first off.

Jane just looked at him. Lost. She truly didn’t know what to say. She was just disappointed.

Which just seemed to egg Weller on even more. “And anyway. It can’t have been that bad, if you send your detail for twelve tubs of ice-cream in the middle of the night!”

Jane just took a deep breath. “You can justify that all you want but that doesn’t make it right.” She said in a low voice. “And for the record, we wanted fifteen. But the supermarket was out of the other three kinds.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted. A friend.” He had calmed down at her tone, if only marginally.

Jane looked around and upon seeing that they were still alone took a step well into his personal space and looked up at him. “I wanted you to be my friend.”

She heard his sharp intake of breath at the same time as footsteps further down the hall and took a step back.

“Hey.” Jane turned around to see Reade coming their way. “Are guys coming anytime soon? Everyone’s waiting for you two and Mayfair is on a warpath.”

“On our way.” Weller told him, his eyes still trained on Jane.

::

::

The first thing Weller noticed upon their arrival in the bullpen was the picture of a woman up on the screens. The first thing Jane noticed was everyone’s eyes flitting to her.

She tried to dismiss it and focused on the picture instead. Caucasian female, about her age, dark hair, green eyes, mole on her cheek.

Wow.

The resemblance was uncanny.

Weller had to have noticed as well. Jane felt him move closer to her, albeit unconsciously on his part. His voice held a sharp tone. “What’s going on? Who is this?”

Mayfair turned around and regarded them both. “I was hoping one of you could tell us. She gave herself up to the FBI claiming to be Taylor Shaw.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

_Previously:_

_Mayfair turned around and regarded them both. “I was hoping one of you could tell us. She gave herself up to the FBI claiming to be Taylor Shaw.”_

 ::

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Weller shook his head in disbelief and even let out a short barking laugh. “That’s impossible.”

Jane once again felt everyone’s gaze upon her and didn’t dare say anything. Though she was glad to notice that Weller hadn’t left her side, was actually gravitating closer to her by the second.

Mayfair just folded her arms in front of her and continued to elaborate. “This woman showed up at the FBI’s doorstep a few hours ago. She claims she was abducted as a child and together with other children trained to be a freelance operative by a so far unknown entity. She also says her name is Taylor Shaw. L.A. field office requested Shaw's DNA that we have on file to confirm.”

Weller was in complete denial now and for once his irritation wasn’t directed at Jane. “No. No fucking way. Jane is Taylor Shaw.”

Mayfair took a deep breath whereas everyone else on the team looked on helplessly.

“Why can't they just test it?” Jane asked with a slight tremble in her voice. Her eyes flickered between Weller and Mayfair. She could see his determination set in his whole stance, but his eyes showed just the slightest bit of desperation. She could relate to that.

“It's classified and sealed to protect you.” Mayfair explained.

Or more likely her tattoos, Jane thought to herself.

“Jane is Taylor, she has to be.” At least Weller’s tone didn’t allow any doubt.

Mayfair tried to reason with him. “The isotope test-“

“I don't give a fuck about that!”

She thought about putting a hand on his shoulder, just to try and calm him down.

“What isotope test?” Zapata interrupted her intentions.

Mayfair just shot her a look while Weller’s gaze momentarily met Jane’s before he chose to look at the floor.

“What isotope test?” Jane repeated the question, her voice more insistent.

Patterson took a fortifying breath. “I tested the tooth that you lost on your first case. The atomic structure indicates that you were born and raised in the African Sub-Sahara.”

“But I didn't. I lived next to Weller.” Jane shot him another helpless look, but he instead looked at the picture of the alleged Taylor Shaw on the wall screen.

“Not exactly.” Reade suddenly piped up. “Taylor Shaw lived next to Weller. Maybe you're not her after all.”

Zapata shot Reade an incredulous look. “How accurate is that isotope test?”

Patterson looked at Jane before she turned to Zapata. “A hundred percent. It can't be faked.”

Jane felt like she was sucker punched.

“But the DNA identified her as Taylor Shaw.” Zapata pointed out.

“Yes.” Patterson looked at Jane helplessly. “The isotope test contradicts the DNA test.”

Mayfair used the ensuing silence to address the group. “I want you to fly out to L.A. and check this out. ASAP.”

Jane turned to Weller. “Did you know about this isotope test?”

He barely met her eyes. “Not now, Jane.” He faced the team. “Reade, you'll organize transport for the four of us. Zapata, with me for a minute.”

Zapata shot her a last look before she followed Weller out of the bullpen.

Reade opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again and left her with a tight smile.

Jane looked around. She was alone.

::

::

They were flying commercial this time which sat better with Jane than flying in the company jet. If only there were less turbulences. Jane didn’t know if Reade had had the best idea when he had positioned Weller next to her on the flight.

It’s not that he was still avoiding her.

But he didn’t talk to her either. Not about anything that mattered. Instead Jane had to force herself to keep calm while Weller behaved like a caged animal next to her. And the flight would take a few hours.

But when he kept bouncing his knee and cracking his knuckles she couldn’t help herself.

“Would you just… relax!” She tried not to raise her voice. “Please!”

Weller looked at her before taking a deliberate deep breath. “I’m trying.”

“So talk to me. Whatever’s going through your head. I bet it’s not much different from my thoughts.” She kept trying.

“Fine.” Weller’s eyes nervously flitted around before he finally focused on her. “You’re Taylor Shaw. So this woman, whoever she is, has to know you from somewhere. Maybe even recent. She might know what happened to you. That what you’re thinking?”

“No.” Jane admitted. “I keep wondering how you couldn’t tell me about the isotope test.”

Weller sighed and closed his eyes in defeat. “Jane…”

“No. No excuses. Just tell me.”

He met her gaze head on and held her stare. “I know you’re Taylor. I can feel it. And the DNA proofed that.”

“But Patterson said the tests contradict each other.”

“I don’t care-“ He lowered his voice at Jane’s pleading look. “I don’t care what Patterson said. You are Taylor.”

“So why didn’t you tell me? If you are this sure, why not tell me?”

Weller leant his head back against the seat. “I wanted you to be certain, too. I didn’t want you to worry and feel like you didn’t belong.”

“Belong where?” Jane asked. It’s not like he had gone out of his way to make her feel comfortable at the FBI lately.

Weller just looked at her. Truly looked. For the first time since… forever it felt. The way that made Jane’s heart-rate rise and her hands clammy. “With me.”

Now was Jane’s turn to lean her head back and avoid his gaze.

::

::

“What if I’m not Taylor?”

Weller took a deep breath, obviously tired of her line of thought. “You are.”

“But what if I’m not?” Jane couldn’t help but ask.

“DNA says you are.” He pointed out.

She shook her head. “Isotopes say I’m not.”

“Okay. We can play this game all day long, but it doesn’t matter. You are Taylor.” His tone allowed no argument.

Jane let the matter rest. At least with Weller. Because a nagging feeling at the back of her mind just kept asking what if. What if she wasn’t Taylor Shaw?

She used the moment Weller made his way to the facilities to walk up to Zapata and Reade. Reade was reading a book while Zapata browsed through the Sky Mall catalogue.

They both looked up when she stood next to them.

“Hey.” Jane tried to smile. “Zapata, would you mind swapping seats with me?”

Zapata turned around to check out the seats. She had to notice that Weller wasn’t there. “He still a dick about it?”

Jane shrugged. “Something like that.”

The FBI agent wordlessly took her headphones, got up and went to sit in Jane’s vacated seat. Jane dropped down next to Reade who had watched the scene without a comment. Until now.

“You know I’m not going to hold your hand if we hit any turbulence, right?” He tried to joke.

Jane smiled thinly at him. “Did you and Zapata know about the isotope test?” She had to ask. Reade shook his head. “Will you do me a favor?”

“Depends. If Zapata comes back I’m not going to sit next to Weller for the next four hours.”

Jane appreciated his effort to lighten the mood. “No, it’s not that. Just keep telling me the truth, okay? And don’t hold back on your thoughts on my account.”

He met her gaze and had to see the determination there. Then he nodded once and went back to his book.

::

::

Zapata braced herself for the moment her team leader would return from the back of the plane. When  he did he looked down at her with a startled expression before his eyes wandered the few rows to the front where Reade and Jane sat. His features hardened.

“Sit down.” Zapata told him in no uncertain terms.

“What’s going on here?” He wanted to know.

Zapata looked at the empty seat next to her with a pointed look and Weller finally took the hint. “What is this? Mutiny?” He wanted to know.

“Don’t be so dramatic. Jane just wanted a chat with Reade.”

Weller just huffed. As if.

“Maybe if you’d stop insisting that she is Taylor Shaw all the time-“

“She is Taylor Shaw.” He interrupted her with a strained voice.

Zapata took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn’t have to deck her boss. “Yes. I know you think that. But apparently she’s not as convinced as you are. And if you keep being this stubborn about this she’ll keep thinking about what happens if she’s not.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Forget it.” She’d already said enough. She would not play counselor in their twisted relationship Tasha decided as she took her headphones and tuned Weller out for good.

::

::

The drive up to the F.B.I.’s Los Angeles office was uneventful. Upon their arrival two unmarked black S.U.V.’s had picked them up and Weller had made it clear that he would ride with Jane with a single determined shake of his head.

Jane hadn’t been sure what to expect, but Weller had slid into the back seat next to her without comment and kept up the nonsensical chatter with the two agents in the front without bothering her. That left her to look out the window in hopes of distracting herself from the purpose of their travel.

It didn’t work.

Maybe the DNA was wrong and she was not Taylor Shaw. The thought had never sat right with her in the first place. It’s not that she simply didn’t recognize herself when she looked at the pictures of a young Taylor Shaw. It felt completely wrong to her. But the DNA being wrong meant Weller was wrong. Which was a whole other can of worms. He was so convinced that she was his long lost childhood friend, that he wouldn’t fare well if she turned out not to be her. And what if this other woman was Taylor? Would she be coming to New York with them so Weller could figure out what happened to her?

It took her a moment to notice that the conversation in the car had ebbed out while they were navigating the streets of this vast city. At the moment their company argued over the latest in L.A. highway construction.

Jane risked a glance at Weller. His body seemed relaxed but a closer look at his face revealed the tension he was under. At least to her.

“Hey.” She carefully reached across the middle seat and touched his hand. His eyes snapped to hers. “It’s going to be okay.” Jane said softly.

Weller just furrowed his brow but didn’t sever their connection.

“Maybe it’s for the best if I’m not Taylor.” Jane continued and hoped not to set him off again.

His hand moved under hers and she felt the first glimpses of dread rising within her. But Kurt just turned his hand to intertwine their fingers. “What are you talking about?”

She took a fortifying breath, taking strength from his loose grip. “The last few weeks you couldn't stand being near me. And if I'm not Taylor-“

“You are Taylor.” The grip on his hand intensified even as he tried to keep a calm voice. He tried to avoid drawing any attention from the front seats.

She closed her eyes for a second until she retained her patience. “Maybe I'm not. And maybe without all that pressure it will be easier for you to be around me again.”

He didn’t say anything in return. But he didn’t let go of her hand for the rest of the ride.

::

::

The hallways of the local FBI office were almost deserted on a Sunday afternoon. The people here obviously as eager to enjoy their downtime as they were in New York.

Jane stayed close to her team as they were led from the underground garage through various hallways. Weller's fingers grazed the back of her own in the elevator. She forced herself not to look at him in return but from the way they were standing, it had to be intentional. She took it as a silent source of comfort to calm her racing heart. 

She didn't even know why she was so nervous. Maybe it was everybody's eyes on her. Her colleagues in New York had gotten used to her and had stopped staring at her tattoos weeks ago. Or maybe it was Weller's punishing glare whenever he felt they were getting too much for her. 

She was grateful none the less.

The agents awaiting them didn't look very inviting.

“Kurt Weller.” Weller introduced himself and then the team. “Zapata, Reade, Jane.”

Everyone nodded.

“Tom Isaacs.” The apparent lead agent shook Weller's hand. “We just requested some DNA to be unsealed. I don't really understand the need for you all to come here.” Jane wasn’t sure what to make of his tone. An odd mixture between forced friendliness and suspicion.

“There's a reason the Taylor Shaw case is classified.” Weller pointed out. “I understand you have a woman in custody claiming to be her?”

“Yes.” A young Agent piped up. “Just walked into one of our safe houses yesterday evening. She claims her name is Taylor Shaw and that she was abducted as a kid.”

Weller nodded. “We read your initial report. Has she said anything else since?”

“She refused to say more until she was moved to a safer location.” The annoyance was clear in Isaacs' tone, obviously directed both at the woman and at Weller’s team for showing up and threatening to take his case away from him.

“I'll need to talk to her.” Weller stated.

“You can’t.” Isaacs cut in.

“What do you mean, I can’t.” Kurt unconsciously moved his shoulders back, rising to his full height.

“Look.” Isaacs held out his hands in a clear attempt to alleviate his own frustration. “All we wanted was for you to give us access to that DNA sample. We didn’t ask for the cavalry to show up here on our turf. She’s providing us with highly classified information-“

“You just said she refused to talk.” Zapata interrupted him sharply.

“Well, yes.” Isaacs admitted grudgingly. “It's more like she's taunting us with information. Just enough to make it believable, but she's refusing to reveal details so far.”

“As long as you don’t know who she is she’s providing you with shit and we all know that.” Weller insisted.

Isaacs didn’t answer. It was true.

“Did you check for a scar at her neck?”

Jane eyes flew back to Weller. He had to have called ahead for that.

“Yes. She has one. One and a half inches, perfect horizontal line. Our doctor said at least ten years old.” Someone provided.

Jane swore she could feel her own scar itching. Weller obviously hadn't expected that.

“Let me talk to her.” Weller tried again in a more conciliatory tone.

Isaacs glanced at his team. “And then you’ll release the DNA?”

Weller nodded. “You can run the test while I talk to her. Please.”

Even Reade and Zapata’s eyes darted to their boss. This had to be as close as begging as anyone of them ever witnessed.

“Well, fuck it.” Isaacs heaved a deep breath. “Alright. Just you, though.” 

“My team needs to watch.” Jane needed to, but Isaacs didn’t need to know that. 

“Fine. Come this way.”

Weller met all their gazes before he followed first behind Isaacs. The command was clear. Keep your eyes open, stay sharp. 

Jane eyes were instantly drawn to her as they reached the observation room. Cameras were showing every angle of the room, displaying her larger than life on various screens. Her eyes flickered over them all, trying to take in as much of this woman as possible.

“Well. She seems like she couldn't care less.” Reade commented on her slouched form. And truly, she gave every impression that she was bored just sitting there. 

“No.” Jane shook her head. “She just wants us to think that. She's on high alert.”

Reade and Zapata shot each other a look behind her back. But Jane was proven right as soon as Weller and Isaacs entered the room. The alleged Taylor Shaw tensed instantly, displaying more of her taut muscles and seemed to assess them in just a split second. Then she put up her nonchalant facade again, leaning marginally back. 

“Good call.” Zapata praised Jane under her breath.

Kurt sat down across from her while Isaacs chose to lean against the wall, keeping his distance. Jane couldn't help but watch Weller's features. He was tense but tried to keep a neutral face. She could see his eyes drinking her in. The other Taylor. Looking for anything that might seem familiar.

The other Taylor let it happen.

“Are you here to escort me to a safer facility? Because I told that dimwit over there already. It's not safe here.” She sounded sharp, demanding even.

“Not safe for you?” Weller’s tone held no inflictions.

“No. For all of you.” She said with absolute certainty.

Weller nodded, taking that as it was. “I'm just here to talk.” For now.

“Who are you then?” Taylor leaned in.

“Kurt”. No reaction from her. “Kurt Weller.” He added.

A shrug of her shoulders. “Is that supposed to mean anything to me?”

He took a deep breath. “We were next door neighbours when we were kids.”

“Oh my God.” Her eyes widened and she sat up straighter. “Kurt. I remember. We used to be friends.” A small smile showed itself on her face.

“Yes.”

The other Taylor laughed. It sounded hollow. “I can’t believe it. And you’re an FBI agent now?”

“Yes.” 

“Don't tell me they had to bring you in to verify my identity. There has to be some DNA somewhere on file.” She reasoned.

Kurt wouldn’t let himself be deterred. “I've been looking for Taylor ever since she went missing.”

“Looking for me, you mean.” 

He didn't say anything to that.

The other woman leaned in further. “So you say you don’t believe me? I am Taylor!”

Everyone in the observation room winced at her outburst.  

“My birthday-“

“Everyone who ever read up on her would know that!” Weller interrupted her forcefully. “Proof it.”

“Then do a damn DNA test, for fucks sake!”

“No. Proof it. To me.” Weller demanded in a low voice. He never took his eyes off of her.

Taylor just huffed in disbelief. “What do you want to hear? Because I was five when I went missing. It's not like people usually remember much from that age.”

Now it was Weller turn to lean in further. “So what do you remember? There has to be something.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “Fine. My bedroom was pink.”

“Isn't every little girls'?” He taunted in return.

Taylor continued as if he hadn't said anything. “There were unicorns on my bedspread.”

Kurt opened the file in front of him and revealed a newspaper clipping. “Taylor's house, and _bedroom_.” He emphasized. “Covered in the local newspaper after her disappearance.”

He slid it towards her over the table. When she picked it up so did the cameras. The pictures, albeit black and white at the time, clearly showed a little girl's bedroom. With unicorns on the bedspread.

Taylor hesitated for just a second, then she smirked. “That's a bit sick, don't you think? My bedroom in the paper?”

Kurt didn't say anything in return.

She heaved a deep breath. “Look. I was five. And a lot happened after I was taken. I’ve seen it with the other kids. How they got caught up in the memories of their families and their homes. That just made life harder for you. Those memories...” She trailed off and Jane thought she finally caught a glimpse at the person underneath this whole charade.” Those memories are a treasure. One you don't share with just anyone.”

“I'm not just anyone.” Jane knew that tone only too well. Calm and gentle. “Taylor Shaw was my best friend. And I've been looking for her my whole life.”

Taylor looked down at the newspaper clipping before she pushed it away from her. She shot Isaacs, who had surprisingly not intervened so far, a look before she focused on Weller again. “Ask me.”

Weller leaned back in his seat. “What’s my brother’s name?”

She just shot him a look. “Your  _sister’s_  name is Sarah.”

He didn’t let on if that was the right answer or not. “Do you remember how you got that scar at your neck?”

“Yes.” She actually smiled at that. “We were climbing a tree and I fell down.”

“What kind of tree?”

“Cherry.” When she still received no visible response she continued. “A squirrel used to live up there in the fall. Your sister broke her arm when she jumped from the swing that hung from that tree. So your father cut down the branch.”

Kurt could only look at her and Jane felt a sudden tightness in her throat.

Taylor just rolled her eyes at his lack of a response. “You and Sarah always wanted a dog. You wanted to name him Charlie, Sarah wanted Bob. The lady across the street had an orange cat. It’s name was…” She shook her head. “I can’t remember it’s fucking name. But it was a vicious little hell beast. . The comforter on your bed was blue with space ships on it. It was a present from your grandmother.” She looked at him expectantly, clearly satisfied with herself.

“What the hell?” Reade mumbled more to himself. But Jane barely registered him.

For the second time today she felt like she was loosing the ground beneath her feet. It wasn't that none of this seemed familiar to her. That there wasn't a single ounce of recognition to what this woman told Weller.

It was the look on Kurt's face. 

The combination of awe and utter disbelief. Like he himself couldn’t grasp what was happening in front of him.

This was Taylor Shaw.

And she wasn't.

An unbearable weight settled on her chest, while Weller still seemed to fight his initial denial. “What happened after your abduction?”

“That’s enough, Agent Weller.” Agent Isaacs cut in.

“No. I want to know.” He said, more insistent this time.

“And I said that’s enough. This was not part of the deal.” Isaacs’ voice tightened.  “You got to talk to her. So tell me, is she Taylor Shaw?”

Kurt’s eyes darted towards the camera and Jane knew he was really looking at her. Hell, Reade and Zapata probably knew it too.

“Yes.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely comments and kudos!  
> I honestly thought Patterson's boyfriend would end up dead when he started poking around on his own in the last ep. But the promo for next week makes me think I'll be right after all.  
> And yay! Blindspot was already renewed for a second season. Awesome news!

Jane thought she should probably be more upset at the prospect that she wasn’t Taylor Shaw.

She wasn’t.

Instead it almost felt like a relief.

Because if it turned out that she wasn’t Taylor Shaw after all, it just confirmed what she had felt deep down and never dared to voice. Being Taylor had never felt right to her.

But being on the team did.

The new-found camaraderie she had with Reade and Zapata was something she treasured. And Kurt…

She couldn’t lose this. But if it turned out that she wasn’t Taylor…

Jane only noticed that her hands were shaking when she held them under the spray of water in the women’s bathroom. She turned the tap off and leant on the granite, hoping to steady her breath. It had only been a few months, but being with the team was everything she had.

Kurt was all she had.

She saw the door opening out of the corner of her eyes. Zapata.

She lingered in the doorway so she had clearly not come to use the facilities.

Jane stood up straight and met the agent’s eye in the mirror.

“What’s going on?”

“Everyone’s still waiting on the DNA result.” Tasha’s voice showed the slightest hint of sympathy, something she was definitely not known for. “Are you okay?”

Jane grabbed a few paper towels and excessively dried her hands. “I don’t know.” She answered truthfully.

Zapata tried a comforting smile. “We’ll figure it out.”

Jane nodded in silent acknowledgement and flung the paper towels into the waste basket.

“We should go and join the others.” Zapata suggested. “I bet Weller is driving Reade up the walls by now.”

::

::

When they joined the others in the bullpen Jane felt the by now familiar jolt when she looked at Weller and met his gaze. He looked at her coldly, as if he was angry with her for something. She tried a small smile but he just turned and kept pacing.

Zapata and Reade shared a look. Talking to their team leader was futile right now. And they hoped Jane would get the message and not set herself up for a verbal lash-out.

She did.

By the time Isaacs and his agents joined them twenty minutes later Jane had been going over it in her head a hundred times. Every possibility. If she was or wasn’t Taylor and what it could mean for her. Or them. By now she just wanted this to be over.

“So?” Weller instantly wanted to know. Stubborn as always, Jane couldn’t help but think. She admired Isaacs’ patience when he took a deep breath and visibly tried not to let himself be influenced by Weller. He had to know that this was important to them.

 “They’re re-testing just to be sure, but so far the DNA is not a match.” He calmly explained, looking only at Weller.

Kurt shook his head. “But she knows _everything_. She-“ He interrupted himself, but Jane knew what he meant to say. She has to be Taylor Shaw. It hurt more than she expected it to.

Isaacs just shrugged his shoulders. “Is there any other way she could know all this?” Now he turned to look at Jane. He had to have noticed the resemblance between her and the woman in custody.

“Okay, wait a second.” Reade interrupted everyone’s thoughts. “I thought Jane is Taylor. You said so yourself.” He looked at Weller.

“I know what I said.” Weller replied with irritation.

“And the DNA actually matches her.” Reade said firmly. “So which one is it?”

“Isotopes say she’s not Taylor.” Zapata pointed out the fact that Weller liked to ignore.

“What the hell is going on here?” Isaacs wanted to know. He looked at Jane. “You’re Taylor Shaw?”

Jane just looked at him helplessly. “I don’t know.”

“Jane.” Weller looked at her sharply and shook his head.

Isaacs looked from one to the other demandingly. “What the hell is going on here?”

The team watched Weller heave a deep breath. He had to know that they couldn’t solve this on their own. They needed these people - and their cooperation - if they ever wanted to make sense of any of this. And so Weller told Isaacs about Jane. How they found her and that her DNA matched Taylor Shaw. He even mentioned her tattoos. Not too many details, just enough.

Jane never expected to be talked about like that. Cool and clinical. Just another case. Or maybe it was the detachment with which Weller recounted it. As if he wasn’t a part of it. The most important one. She tried to catch his gaze, but he wouldn’t look at her.

“Okay.” Reade tried to get everyone’s attention back on track. “The way I see it there are two scenarios. Number one. Jane is Taylor Shaw. The other woman isn’t.”

Zapata caught on to his line of thought. “Pro, Jane’s DNA matches.”

“Con, the isotope test doesn’t. And this other woman knows everything about Taylor’s life.” Jane supplied. Weller was still not meeting her gaze and she felt that rejection down to her bones.

Zapata nodded. “Number two. This woman is Taylor Shaw and Jane is not.”

“But Jane remembers being taken as a child.” Weller reluctantly joined the conversation.

“True.” Reade pointed out. “Which proves that she was abducted. But she doesn’t remember anything specific that ties her to Taylor Shaw. They could both have been abducted.”

“That’s a hell of a coincidence.” Weller shook his head. “And what about the positive DNA test?”

“Maybe they switched it.” Jane said. It was one of the things she been thinking about in the last twenty minutes.

“What?” Weller asked, finally able to look her way again.

“Whoever did this to me predicted every case we’ve been handling so far. And not just that, they even knew we would come looking for a hideout back when we found Guerrero. They know…” Jane searched for a fitting word.

“A hell of a lot.” Zapata supplied.

“Yes.” Jane nodded. “How hard could be it for them to switch the DNA on file we compared mine to. They switched Taylor’s DNA for mine. That’s why the isotope isn’t a match. And that’s why there’s a woman here, claiming to be Taylor, who knows everything about her life. She is Taylor.”

“That’s a hell of a lot of trouble to go to, don’t you think?” Isaacs asked.

The others just looked at each other tellingly. “It’s nothing compared to what they did to me.” Jane finally said.

She looked at Weller in anticipation and felt Reade do the same next to her. Bracing himself for the inevitable outburst at her suggestion.

It never came.

Instead Weller looked at them with a calmness that had to be forced before he addressed Isaacs. “I’ll need a computer with a secure connection to New York. And I’ll need to talk to her again.”

::

::

An hour later and he still couldn’t make himself walk through that door. Instead he chose to watch her through the mirror. He didn’t want the monitors, which showed him every angle of her. He wanted to see for himself, observe.

Taylor Shaw.

He still couldn’t make sense of it.

Every fiber of his being was convinced that Jane was Taylor. He just _felt_ it. But his head was telling him something different. Hence the feeling of being pulled in opposite directions. Jane with her soulful eyes on one side and this woman on the other.

He probably should have talked to Jane, but he didn’t know what to say without losing the tenuous grip he had on his emotions. And after willfully trying to ignore her for the better part of the last few hours, he wasn’t even sure she wanted to talk. At least that’s what he told himself. Maybe in a few hours he’ll have convinced himself too.

Kurt took a final breath, steeling himself and held on tightly to the folder in his hand before he entered the interrogation room.

Taylor looked up, squinting at him. “You took your time.”

He just shrugged and sat down. “DNA tests take time.” He put the folder aside.

“I’m telling you, the longer you keep me here the more danger everyone here is in. You should just fucking hurry it up and move me to a safe location!” She tried to appear indifferent but Kurt noticed her tension.

“We have the results.” He gauged her reaction but she didn’t seem worried. Not the least bit. “It’s negative. DNA says you’re not Taylor Shaw.”

This was the moment he had been waiting for and he was not disappointed. She was surprised, truly stunned and didn’t even bother to hide it. It felt like the first genuine emotion she had shown him today.

“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s impossible!” She said incredulously. “You have to test it again!” She demanded forcefully.

Kurt forced himself not to react to her outburst. “We’re already doing that. We actually have a theory.”

Taylor leaned forward and narrowed her eyes at him. “Then what the hell are you doing here? Do you want to ask me some more stupid questions about our _wonderful_ childhood?” Her tone couldn’t be more condescending if she tried. “Because I don’t feel like re-hashing everything again.”

Which was just fine with him. She obviously didn’t apply the same sentimental value to their shared childhood memories he did, so talking to her about them was a moot point. But something Reade had said had stuck with him. Maybe they had both been abducted as children. It would be a hell of a coincidence, but it wasn’t impossible. Jane had told them that she remembered a large basement with other children on cots and mattresses. What if Jane and Taylor had met?

“No.” He grabbed the folder and pulled out a photo of Jane. “Do you know this woman?” He slid it across the table, never taking his eyes off her.

“Should I?” She asked uninterestedly.

“Do you?” Kurt insisted.

“No.” She said forcefully, meeting his gaze in a heated stare.

Now it was his turn to show some real emotion and he matched her tone. “Look, _Taylor_. Isaacs won’t tell me what little deal you have going on, but if he is this worried it has to be something big. You were taken as a young child, together with others, and you were trained. To do what exactly, I don’t know. But I believe that the same thing happened to that woman.” He pointed at the photo in front of her. “And I want to know what the hell happened, and we won’t leave here until you tell me.”

He leaned back and took a deep breath to calm himself down. “So why don’t you take another look.”

“Do you honestly think you can scare me? I fucking lived through hell. And it was nothing like being stuck in a FBI interrogation room with you. So that’s not going to fucking happen.” She gave him a hard look. “I told you, I don’t recognize her.”

Weller nodded to himself before he pulled three other photos from the file and slid them across the table. “We used a de-aging software. This is what she might have looked like at five, ten and fifteen years old.”

Taylor stubbornly met his gaze and only after he didn’t back down did she look at the new photos. She studied them more carefully than she did the first, but there was no sign of recognition in her features.

Suddenly the lights flickered above them before being replaced by the emergency lighting. Kurt heard a mechanical whirring in the lock.

“What the hell?” He murmured as he got up and went over to the door. It wouldn’t open.

“Fuck.” Taylor got up to try it herself. It still wouldn’t open. “Fuck!”

“What the hell is going on here?” Kurt wanted to know, trying to push any panic aside.

“Give me your gun.” Taylor held out her hand.

Kurt had it drawn instantly and pointed it at her. “Like hell I will.”

She just rolled her eyes. “They’re here and if you don’t give me your gun right now, we’re screwed.”

He shook his head but before he could think of something to say Taylor had moved on him and disarmed him faster than he could react. She trained the weapon on him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Kurt asked hotly.

“The lights and the cameras are down which means they probably cut the central power. We’re sitting ducks in here so move away from the fucking door.”

Taylor released the safety and fired.


End file.
